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Writer's pictureAngela Karanja/Child Psyc

Watch Your Language!

Updated: Feb 16, 2021


What language are you using in your home, school, or places where we come in contact with teens?


The language we commonly use in our homes and schools and community can either advance or deter development of our teens and kids in general really. So,




What language do you commonly use as acceptable that could be deterring the development of your teen?


Time To Watch Our Language!


The language we commonly use in our homes and schools and community can advance or deter development of our teens and kids in general really. Whether this is spoken, unspoken or insinuated.


Did you know that the language commonly used in your home can shape and influence the direction of your teens.

What do I mean by this?

Whether your teen succeeds, how they succeed or if they succeed at all can be influenced by the common language used around them..

In my position as a psychologist, researcher, educator and parenting teenagers expert, I have had to educate many families including my own family about the power of words, phrases and beliefs.


My partner used to proudly state

“You either do it right or not do it all”

The first time he said that, “I asked him whether he realised what he actually said and he proudly said, yep!

I expressed how damning and limiting such phrases were and how they can deter people especially our teens from attempting to take action or carrying and following through with anything because of the fear of not doing it right.


It was a light bulb moment that the language commonly used can shape and influence the direction of teens.

Phrases like these although widely accepted are the sort that propagate and lead to perfectionism and all the stress that comes with it. They can also lead to other soul-destroying syndromes such analysis paralysis and walking on eggshells - where teens are so cautious before taking action that they take none at all or slow to a crawl. All what this leads to is more stress and tampering with growth and progress.


The language commonly used can shape and influence the direction of teens.

Instead why not turn around the language we use and establish a growth mentality where action and effort is praise and not perfectionism? An attitude , phrases and words that promote "it is ok to be less than perfect" (whatever perfect mean)


Champion the use of gut instincts as information which is less stressful and straining to people especially young people ;- their minds, and leads to learning and progress.


Think of the influencer you are and make your mind up today to really mind what you say and the phrases you commonly use in your home.

It may seem like a small step but like archery, the slightest shift in your aim can lead to massive differences in your end results.

Let’s keep growing as parents lets keep learning.

Start by taking that small step today. That of minding the language you commonly use, for it can shape and influence the direction of your teen.




Contact angie@raisingremarkableteenagers.com with any additional questions.


Raising Remarkable Teenagers website and products are managed by Angela Karanja; Psychologist, Researcher, Educator and Parent.

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