Updated: Feb 1
Firstly, Let’s Understand Why Teenagers Act Rudely.
Why Is My Teenager Rude?
Teenagers behave rudely for various reasons. Firstly, their hormones are raging, they are experiencing new physiological, sociological and psychological changes, and they haven’t learnt how to communicate and express their needs in healthy and more socially acceptable ways. These rude episodes should be fleeting and not let to become the norm. If allowed to become the normal way of communication, it can harm the teenager’s wellbeing as well as those around him/her.
So, the first thing is to meet them with the understanding that their brain is changing thus, their hormones and mood.
As a parent when faced with rudeness, remind yourself to respond in a respectful way. You do not have to lower yourself to their level of rudeness by resisting, yelling, or telling off. Instead, you choose to respond respectfully. For example, you can say to your teenager “I am available and willing to understand what you need but, I feel it is hard at the moment. So, I will go sit there and when you are ready you can come talk to me kindly.” Responding respectfully, although a seemingly difficult thing for you to do at the time, assures the teenager that they have been heard and seen. Remember, their rudeness reflects what is going on within them and, it is not about you. Being respectful despite their rudeness doesn’t mean you are excusing their behaviour, but it is your opportunity for you to practice conscious compassion and model acceptable behaviour.
You can address the rude incident later when things are calmer.
In the heat of the moment is not a good time for you to address the rudeness. Compassion and care is what is going to work this moment, and it is the healthier option. Later, when things are calmer because you showed them a connectedness and a calmness, and left communications lines open, you can address the unacceptable behaviour in a calm manner. At this point, because they do not feel threatened, you can now safely have a discussion where you evaluate safer ways of how they can communicate their needs and wishes. Your connectedness and calmness demonstrates and models to your teenager safer and healthier ways of relating and this is what will strengthen your relationship with your teenager and, position you as a mentor whom they can listen to and trust.
The reason all our programs emphasis on modelling and mentoring as the way to influence and inspire positive behaviour, is because psychological and social research continue to show that modelling and mentoring is the most effective way of influencing human behaviour, in this case teenagers. Below you learn the 4 Must-Have Tips to Exterminate Rudeness.
Raising Remarkable Teenagers is a more in-depth program,where you delve deeper and wider into how to Exterminate Unwanted Behaviour and Elicit Positive Behaviour. You can get it NOW if you click on this link and grab the whole of the 5R. A powerful 5R Series comprising of:
Never forget your value as a worthy person. Do not allow the teenager’s rudeness to dictate and diminish your value as a person, how you feel and your position of emotional strength.
This is something only you can give yourself.
Be respectful of and to your teenager no matter what. This models to them how to be. It also shows that you care and are compassionate, and this is not dependent on how other people behave. This includes treating them nicely despite their rudeness. This doesn’t mean you cower to their demands.
Remember you can say No respectfully. You can also access FREE TRAINING HERE
When things are calmer, communicate consequences clearly and calmly. State what you would prefer to happen and experience instead of the current rudeness. Together, evaluate safer ways that your teenager can communicate their needs. Also communicate clearly your stance on unacceptable behaviour if repeated. Check that they understand and then leave it this at that.
Find out from your teenager if there is anything you can do to help them behave in more positive ways. Suggest some and keep the dialogue open. You will be surprised how good teenagers are at solution finding when they feel trusted. The feeling of autonomy can generate creative solutions.
We hope that learning about the 4 Must – Have Tips to Exterminate Teenage Rudeness has not only been eye-opening but will be helpful in parenting your teenager. Please practice them. Remember it is in practicing that we become confident and competence.
Now check our mentoring program by clicking on this picture below;
Raising Responsible Teenagers
Raising Resilient Teenagers
Raising Remarkable Teenagers is one of our powerful programs at Kids Kids Unlimited.We Aim To Educate and Empower Parents So That They Can Inspire
Positive Behaviour In Their Teenagers & Help Your Teenager Unfold To Be
The Remarkable Kid You Know They Can Be,
The Limitless Unlimited Kids That They Truly Are.
Raising Remarkable Teenagers website and products are managed by Angela Karanja; Psychologist, Researcher, Educator and Parent.
To Learn more about our inspirational and empowering parents of teenagers programs, go to the links below.
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